Vampires. It seems like they’re everywhere. Ever since the fifteenth century, when a certain Transylvanian count by the name of Vlad (who would later inspire the character Dracula) developed his penchant for impaling his victims on stakes and, according to legend, drinking their blood (apparently he liked the taste), people have been fascinated by the vampire legend.
In recent years, despite our departure from superstition in general, it seems that our fascination with these mysterious creatures of the night has grown. Back in the eighties, we were enthralled with the mulleted, angsty teenage blood-suckers of The Lost Boys; in the nineties it was the glamorous, vaguely homo-erotic vampires of Anne Rice that captured our attention. The legend has grown and evolved over time, from folklore and literature to TV shows, movies, video-games, role-playing games, and comic books. Vampires have taught us to count (Sesame Street officially denies that the Count is a vampire, but come on), and even been a part of a nutritious breakfast (looking at you, Chocula!). The list goes on.
But never before has the trend reached such a fever pitch as we are seeing today. Suddenly, kids are dressing like vampires; fangs are sold year-round (i.e. not just at Halloween), and sales of glitter are through the roof. The vampire market is apparently recession-proof, and from what I can tell, all of the recent craziness over the blood-suckers flows from two principle sources: the HBO series True Blood (based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris), and Stephenie Meyer’s teen-lit epic Twilight, which has spawned a series of movies, the second of which, New Moon, is set to open in theaters to undoubtedly sold-out crowds of screaming teenage girls (not to mention quite a few screaming, not-so-teenage men and women) in November. The trend has even made its way onto Comedy Central’s South Park
I, however, have not been one to catch vampire fever. Sure, I loved horror movies when I was growing up. Fright Night and The Lost Boys were definitely two of my favorites, and when Rice’s Vampire Chronicles was at the height of its popularity, I was just as into it as anyone else. But the current trend has thus far eluded me. Perhaps I really don’t feel I would enjoy these new twists on the vampire legend; perhaps it is merely my macho pride and my fear that I might actually enjoy it; I really don’t know.
I must admit, though, that my curiosity has begun to get the better of me. The popularity of True Blood, and even the Twilight series, has begun to transcend the limitations of age or gender. What I have long considered fodder for pre-pubescent girls has gained considerable ground among grown women, and quite a few guys are starting to catch on, as well. So I decided to fire up the DVD player, lock myself in my apartment for the weekend armed with Twilight, the first season of True Blood, and enough food and water to keep me alive through the ordeal, and I set to the task of finally seeing what all the fuss was about. Oh, and for good measure, I also checked out the first episode of The Vampire Diaries, the new show on the CW, which itself is based on a book series of the same name by L.J. Smith, just to round out the list. Here’s my take, in order of viewing:
True Blood
The gist: Set in the small town of Bon Temps, LA, True Blood takes place in a world where shapeshifters, telepaths, and vampires rub elbows with mere mortals as a matter of day to day life. With the recent development of synthetic blood, or “Tru Blood,” vampires have “come out of the coffin,” and are now struggling to assimilate themselves into human society. Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), a virginal, telepathic waitress in a local tavern, meets Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer), a Civil War-veteran vampire who still holds on to a sliver of his former humanity, and after a series of adventures, the two begin a relationship.
My take: Not too bad, actually. As a matter of fact, out of all three titles, True Blood was by far my favorite. Bill is my kind of blood-sucker: old-fashioned, loaded with baggage, and susceptible to sunlight (the vampires in the other two titles aren’t- more on that later), and Sookie is just the right combination of tough and naively adorable to create the perfect ingénue. Their story, as well as that of the supporting cast, will probably have me coming back for more, as the plot deftly touches on ideas of racism and discrimination without ever taking itself too seriously.
The show does have some serious drawbacks, though, most noticeably the terrible, horrible, no-good, just-plain-lousy accents, in particular the forced, pseudo-hillbilly drawl of Rutina Wesley as Sookie’s best friend Tara. Now I’m sure that Miss Wesley is a fine actress. There are even times in True Blood where I am moved by her performance. But for any casting director to let something like that pass is just unacceptable. NOBODY talks like that. If these accents were something that they hadn’t heard before, I could let it go. But this show is filmed right outside of Shreveport. There’s just no excuse for that. The show also has quite a few cheesy moments that leave me shaking my head in wonder, but for the most part, this one is pretty watchable.
Twilight
The gist: Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), an angsty teenage girl, is uprooted from her home in Arizona and is forced to live with her father, the chief of police in the sleepy town of Fork, WA, where she is soon swept up in the world of vampires and werewolves when she develops a relationship with angsty teenage vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).
My take: Ugh. Seriously, this is something that I just couldn’t get into. It turned out to be exactly what I feared it would be, and then some. To be fair, perhaps something is lost in the translation from the page to the big screen. I sincerely hope so. It’s like Twilight goes out of its way to be cheesy. The love story is derivative, and the visual style of the movie is just depressing. I understand the vampires being pale. They’re supposed to be. But the whole town? I mean, even the Native Americans in this movie were pale. At one point Jacob used the term pale-face and I had to pause the movie until I stopped laughing.
My other gripe is with the vampires themselves. I understand that every author that writes a new vampire story will take creative license, and they will tweak the legend to suit their purposes. Bram Stoker did it when he wrote the original Dracula, Anne Rice did it with the Vampire Chronicles, and Marvel did it with Blade. But one thing has always been universal: Vampires are creatures of the night. The sun hurts them. That’s their weakness, and it’s the only way we stand a chance. In Twilight, though, sunlight doesn’t hurt them. They don’t burst into flames. All they do is sparkle. They SPARKLE. How scary is that?
Oh, and one other thing. Isn’t Edward like, oh, I don’t know, about 108 years old? What is he doing messing with a teenage girl? Nobody has a problem with that? I can understand her making stupid decisions; she’s a teenager. But he’s over 100. And why is he in high school? I get that he looks like a teenager, and school keeps people from asking questions, but has anybody heard of home-school? It would sure be a lot safer than risking exposure every day by going to school. Of course, then there wouldn’t be a story, would there?
The Vampire Diaries
The gist: In the small town of Mystic Falls, VA (noticing a trend, here?), Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev), a beautiful high school student whose parents were recently killed in a car accident meets Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley), a charming vampire and the two, ahem, begin a relationship. A new twist here is that Stefan’s brother, Damon (Ian Somerhalder), shows up, and it is hinted that he, too, will begin some sort of relationship with Elena, creating a vampire love triangle.
My take: At first glance, The Vampire Diaries looks like the brainchild of a last-minute marketing meeting at the CW. As if they suddenly realized that vampires were selling, and they just had to get in on the action. Young female lead with issues? Check. Civil War-era vampire? Check. High school angst? Check. It’s like the O.C. with vampires. You can’t go wrong. All the execs at the CW will have to do is dive in and take a swim in their money.
If you take a closer look, you realize that you were right the first time, and that’s pretty much what it is. It’s the CW’s attempt to drain a little bit of life out this craze for themselves. Luckily for them, the show isn’t horrible. The book series that The Vampire Diaries is based on actually predates both the Twilight series and the Sookie Stackhouse series by quite a few years, and the production value on it is relatively high. I probably won’t be setting the TIVO for it anytime soon, but I can say that it could have been worse.
So there you have it. It wasn’t the plan, but I ended up watching all of these shows at night, and after 3 grueling nights, I’m starting to feel like a vampire, myself. I’m still not sure if I know what all the fuss is about, but at least I gave it a shot. And one of these shows may have even gained a fan.
Until next time,
Clay
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